My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
