There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
