i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
