He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
