tell your sister to shave her snatch
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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