Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
