Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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