he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
