I will die if light touches me.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
