My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
