OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
