Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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