True but thats because hes a fetus.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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