We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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