Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher

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(503): View more from Oregon

My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"

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(910): View more from North Carolina

too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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(703): View more from Virginia

just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out

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(248): View more from Michigan

last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.

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