Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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