it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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