dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
