Nicole vs. Life
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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