Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
