put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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