you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
