No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
