its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize