so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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