Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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