He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
