they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
