i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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