i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
