..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize