she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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