Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
