i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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