Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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