Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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