You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize