We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
