I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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