Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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