Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
