normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
