i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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