he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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