I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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