can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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