I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
