all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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