38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
