Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize