It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
