Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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