I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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