Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
