I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
