i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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