I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
