Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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