Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
