i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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