you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
